Monday, February 20, 2006


You cant go back.

You can't go back. An old expression, and unfortunately, a true one.
We have all been there, we start thinking about the good old days and wishing we could return, to see old haunts and renew old relationships. But when we get there we find that the old places have changed and the old people have changed, and we have changed.

I spent several hours on the phone last night witha friend who now lives in Florida. He is coming to visit in a couple of months and wants to take his young son camping in all the places that he remembers from his life here.
He lived with me for several years off and on. His step brother and I were together for a while and his father and I were partners in some dealing. As long as I knew him he was going from one family member to another and never happy anywhere.
If he seemed to be getting settled he would purposely do something to mess up the situation and would loose his home.

For some reason, his family never seemed to figure out that his actions were the result of his past. You could not take a young 15 year old who came from a disruptive background and expect him to behave normally just because he in a new place where he was supposed to feel wanted.
His past experience had taught him that the good living situation was only temporary and he could only depend on himself. If he wanted something he took it, right or wrong
One night I recieved a phone call from him. He was at the airport and had been sent back from his mother in Massachusets to his father here again. He said that his father had moved and he needed to get a hold of him. He wanted to know if I knew his number.
I asked him if he wanted me to pick him up at the airport since I lived close and I would help him find his father the next day.

That night I started thinking that he really needed a solid home if he had any chance of living a normal life I deciced that he was worth the time andeffort on my part if it gave him a chance at a good life..
So, the next morning, I asked him if he wanted to live in my spare bedroom. I told him that if he want to school and followed the rules he could live with me.
I thought it said a lot about his family that when his father found out that his then 16 year old was living with a gay man his only comment was 'Oh, I didn't know he was gay". ( He wasn't)

What was different when he moved in with me was that I really believed that there was a good young man inside there somewhere and I wanted to bring him out.
I also knew that he was very likely to make mistakes over and over, and the only hope he had was to have someone who was always there to help him get back up again. In otherwards I had to make a long term commitment.

We had many ups and downs, and I told him that he had to leave several times when he went too far, but when he was really down and needed a home and some guidance I was still there.

We spent many nights camping in the area and hours upon hours talking about life.
Eventually, when Dan was getting sick I told him that he was in his 20's and I could not spend the time and energy to let him come back again. I owed my attention to Dan, my partner.
I told him I would always love him as a son, and would always be available to talk, but I could not let him return again. I relly didn't expect to ever hear from him again.

There followed a period where I did not hear from him for a while. Then one day he called. He had met a good woman with the patience and the determination to help him settle down. He is in Florida with a family and his own auto repair business.

I had trouble with my pickup a few years ago and talked to him about on the phone, He told me that he did not believe that the problem was what I thought it was. I did the tests that he reccomended and when they were negative and I could not get him on the phone again, I started a major process repairing what I thought the problem was.
He called me back in a couple of days and when he found out waht I was doing, he talked to his wife and called me back and said that he was flying here to fix my truck for me.
He came here in the middle of winter and we spent a week outside under a tarp in the rain fixing the truck. All the way from Florida!

We only talk on the phone 2 or 3 times a year, but when we do, it lasts for a long time. Last night we talked from 8:45 pm untill 2:30 am. I have unlimited nights and weekends on my cell plan.
Anyway, the old truck is outside never being driven. It has several things wrong with it and it would cost me more than it is worth to have it fixed.
He loves the old truck because we went camping so often in it and it has a sentimental value to him. I told him that he would come and get it would give it to him.

So, in April he is coming with his 10 yr old step son to camp here for a week or so then he will tow it home to Flotida.
He is looking forward to it and so am I. I will always love him as a son and the time we lived together was a big part of my life.

I do believe, however, that he will be dissapointed in a lot of things.
The area where we camped years ago has changed, I have changed, I am now crippled by arthritis and will not be able to run around a lot. But, the biggest thing is that he will be seeing things through different eyes. He has seen and experienced a lot more since the good old days . It will all look different to him because of these experiences.

But, in any case, I am looking forward to seeing him.
Based on our past record of visits, this could very likely be the last time we will visit in this lifetime. So, I plan on savoring every minute of it.

Deacon Harry

Friday, February 17, 2006


Willies Song...

I have had a real rough week or 2. Its the end of the period at work and lots of stuff to do trying to make my numbers. Also, there have been complaints about service nor being done on time because we don't have enough help to do it.
But, I have had a few minutes here and there for other activities. You Have you heard about Willie Nelson's new song on the news?
It seems that Willie released a new song called "Cowboys Are Secretly Frequently (Fond of Each Other).
It's really pretty good. He has some great lyrics "There's many a young boy who feels things he don't comprehend. Well the small town don't like it when somebody falls between sexes. No, the small town don't like it when a cowboy has feelings for men."
He goes on"Well, a cowboy may brag about things he does with his women, but ones who brag loudest are the ones who are most likely queer."
Its, really kind of neat. On top of Brokeback Mountain this song is really giving the fundamentalists something to yell about.
Last weekend about 2 dozen dancers were at "The Roundup Saloon" a Dallas country type gay bar to shot a video for release this spring.
One of Willie's songs "He Was A Friend Of Mine". was in the soundtrack of Brokeback Mountain.
Willie said that the song, which was written by a friend Ned Sublette in 1981, was released this year for valentines Day because the time seemed right after Brokeback mountains success.
The song is currently available only as a download from I Tunes. I down-loaded it along with enough other Willie songs to fill a cd. I'll get to listen on the way to work today.
It looks like gays have one more thing out there to help educate the public. It's all pretty cool when you consider that not many years ago we were unable to admit who we are because of fear.
Equal rights are coming, but it takes time and people with enough courage to stand up and be counted.
Deacon Harry

Friday, February 10, 2006


Focus on The Family

This is a copy of an email that I sent to a very dear firend concerning an email that she forwarded to many people urging that they join a campaign by "Focus on the Family"attacking CBS due to the cancellation of "Touched By An Angel.". We have exchanged emails about the forwarding and I did rather over react, but, I hate to see a well meaning loving, trusting person being used to spread the propaganda of the fundamentalists hate .
This link takes you to Focus on the Family's website search results on the word Gay.

I think this is an example of why I don't like the group and is something I included in the e-mail to show her why that group does not deserve her support.

It seems that in the message that she forwarded Dr Dobson was delibertly slanting things to make the cancellation seem like it was done to attack Christianity.
If that were the case then why would the network have ever presented the program in the first place?
CBS is a business and their goal is to present programing that brings viewers, sells advertising and makes money. If they did not like the shows Christian slant they would simply not have aired it in the first place.

However that is not what Dr Dobson stated in his campaign against this business cancelling a non profitable show. He, and his group, Focus On The Family, changed the story entirely to fit his own agenda.
Like most of the radical right they feel that anyone who doesn't fit their model is the enemy and anything they say or do is ok if it defeats the enemy.

President Jimmy Carter has strong enough feelings abou the fundamentalists to write a book about their influence. Its called ├ľur Endangered Values".
He says"The most important factor is that fundamentalists have become increasingly influential in both religion and government, and have managed to change the nuances and subtleties of historic debate into black and white rigities and the personal derogation of those who dare to disagree."
"The influence of these trends poses a threat to many of our nation's historic customs and moral commitments both in governments and houses of worship."
Narrowly defined theological beliefs have been adopted as the ridgid agenda of a political party.
The irresolvable difference of opinion on abortion, homosexuality, and other sensitive social issues have been exacerbated by the insistence of intensly committed hard-liners on imposing their minority views on a more moderate majority."

Mike Piaza (yes him) says Focus on the Family and the American Family Association and other groups like them area real threat to all Americans freedoms.

I am very passionate about this subject because I feel that the country Dan & I both love and defended in uniform is in a very real danger.

What may seem to be perfectly logical Christian truths can frequently be untrue and their statements can be misleading and are put forth to further their own agenda.

These are the same people who recently tried to bully Ford into dropping all support and advertising from all gay publications. They have boycotted Disney, and many others. All in the name of their brand of Christianity.

This is totally against what I believe are Christian and American values.

I am a Christian, and am sure of my faith and my salvation. It is not through the God of Dr Dobson. It is through the Grace of Jesus Christ who died on the cross for me.

Deacon Harry

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